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August 29, 2013

On Raising a Disney Princess


When I was pregnant with Maile, I carefully curated a long list of 'won't's. We won't let her watch TV until she's at least four years old. I won't ever yell at her. We won't even introduce her to Disney ...

I don't know why I fixated on Disney as a negative entity. I did, though. Maybe it was all the uber-natural, and attachment parenting websites I was drawn to. Maybe it was the fact that all the super-cool, trendy moms I followed in the blogging world probably balk at their child being seen in a character tee. ::gasp:: Maybe it was all of my grad school classmates who bragged about not having a television. Whatever it was, I decided Disney was bad for my daughter.

Then, Maile arrived. We hadn't a clue what to do with her six pounds of gorgeousness, but we managed ... We managed to keep the TV and computer screens off when she was awake. We managed to not buy any Disney books, or plush toys, or clothing. We managed to play classical music for her, and read to her every single day. Our babysitter taught Maile sign language, and we managed to be pretty dang proud.

I'm racking my brain, trying to remember when Maile was first exposed to Disney, but I can't recall the moment, or item, or whatever it was ... I clearly remember that we tried desperately to get Maile attached to a lovey, without success. I wore carefully selected stuffed animals around in my shirt for days, because I read that my 'scent' would make her love them more; she didn't take to any of them for more than a week. Then, one day, shortly before her first birthday, Tim grabbed a Mickey from a shelf at Target, and handed it to Maile. Click. Love. What is it about that mouse, who looks very little like a mouse? 

When I realized that Mickey wasn't going anywhere, I carefully wrote Maile's name on his tag (in red Sharpie, to match his iconic red shorts), and nostalgically, scenes from the Toy Story movies flashed through my brain. I love those movies -- their imagination ... but most of all, their hope.

More than a few strangers told us that Maile looked like Boo, from Monsters, Inc., and Sulley found his way into her collection. Dear friends bought her a Disney princess anthology for her first birthday; we read from it to our darling girl. She watched an episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse; a plush Donald Duck joined the family. One night, one of our dogs decided Mickey's nose looked appetizing, and Tim's mom performed minor surgery to fix Mickey's "ouch!" Shortly before Maile's second birthday, Tim DVR'd the Sofia the First movie; he was so excited about our first movie night with Maile. And yes, Sofia was pretty cool, but Maile really loved the scene with Cinderella. 

All of these things brought to mind my own Disney memories. My first movie theater experience was Beauty and the Beast on the big screen; I remember my parents picking me up from kindergarten one day, with the VHS in hand. When Snow White was re-released in theaters, my mom let me and my younger sister play hooky, and drove us to the 'big city' for the show. I still dream of seeing The Lion King on Broadway, someday. And yes, when I'm sick, Beauty and the Beast is one of my go-to comfort movies (along with 'big girl' fairy tales, like Sabrina, and Ever After). 

I've come across so many blog posts, opinion pieces, even articles, about how Disney is doing girls wrong. Do I agree with all of Disney's decisions? Certainly not. Do I push princesses and pink and all things girly on Maile? If you believe that, you don't know me at all. But even the ditziest of Disney princesses (I can't decide if that award goes to Ariel, or Snow White) has something to teach my daughter. Following her dreams, for example. Being gracious and kind, even to those who wish you ill. Learning to step out into the world, even when you're afraid. That it's okay to be bookish. And someday, I hope she'll see that maybe it's the prince who needs rescuing. ;)

Maile clack, clack, clacks around the house in her Ariel dress-up shoes, wearing the mermaid costume my parents gave her. She sings as she lovingly gives her toys check-ups, which almost always end in declarations that they need stitches. She wears her Minnie nightgown outside, in the mornings, insisting on sharing her toast with "Maile's birdies." (Yes, seriously.) She twirls around me as she does my hair, "just like Rapunzel, Mama! You're beautiful!" 

She loves planes -- especially fighter jets. She stages elaborate train crashes, with major sound effects. She wants to ride a dragon someday, and asks why we can't see dinosaurs at the zoo. If you ask her, she'll tell you her favorite color is blue. She's a downright rabid baseball fan.

All the little boys I know are obsessed with construction equipment; I've never heard, "Aren't you afraid so-and-so will grow up to be ... blue collar?!" Bring a Disney princess into the mix, and suddenly you're part of the 'system,' so obviously rigged against girls. "Girls can be anything!" Except princesses, it would seem.

Okay, so Jasmine's proportions are wildly unrealistic. A prince probably won't sweep Maile off her feet and marry her (though it did happen to Grace Kelly, and Queen Noor ... just saying). Maile can't talk to animals, and songbirds wearing hats aren't going to help her with her chores.

Until the cynicism of adulthood too-quickly descends on our sweet girl, though, we will let her be little. Let her imagination take her to wonderful, far-off places. Let her sing and dance, and wear mermaid fins to dinner. Let her be a princess.

And, occasionally, buy her character t-shirts.


Maile's headband c/o Bizzy B Crafts.

Speaking of pink, our current giveaway -- sponsored by All That Glitters -- ends Friday. Enter here!

18 comments:

  1. All I can say is a resounding AMEN!

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  2. Wonderful post! I can't imagine Disney not being a part of my childhood. The Little Mermaid is my favorite, Beauty and the Beast a close second. I can't wait to one day introduce my future children to the magic of Disney. Adults forget that children don't see those films and those characters with the same hyper-sensitive, politically correct eyes as our society.

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    1. So very true, Shannon! As adults, we see the world (and therefore Disney) so differently. Maybe we're the ones who need to adjust *our* perspective!

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  3. Haha my child is a boy and he loves disney! He loved mickey mouse, donald duck and all the other characters. Although there may be some sexist criticisms regarding Disney films and stories, I believe children don't really see that side of it. They purely only see the sad and happy side of the stories.

    Anyways, Mulan is a GREAT disney film for all girls and boys to watch. Love how independent, strong and tough Mulan is in that film. Girl power! ;)

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    1. I totally agree with you, Marie! Children are so smart, but also see things in a much different way than we adults do.

      And yes, I've always loved Mulan!

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  4. Yes, thank you!! I was a tom boy, but I loved GIRLY things too!! Still DO! I work in mud for a living, but love me some pearls and heels! I Love it! I am so looking forward to my lil AB. She loves to carry purses, loves it. If it is a bag she can pick up, she's going to carry it EVERYWHERE. I don't carry a purse, yet she LOVES it! And I will embrace her being a girl! Just as much as my son loves to be a boy!

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    1. I am going to use you as an example, from now on, my friend. "A sorority sister of mine works in mud for a living. So THERE!" Hehe. Love you, girl.

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  5. I love this! Everything I was ever taught in college (especially as a future educator) was that Disney was bad bad bad. It made girls self-conscience. It made girls feel that they weren't important unless they had a handsome man by their side. It was racist. It was classist. It was every other "-ist" in the book.

    But, gee wiz...I grew up with Disney. My grandma loved Disney, and so that love was passed on to me. My favorite movies rotated between The Little Mermaid and Beauty and the Beast all through childhood. I cried when Mufasa died every single time. I wondered how Belle lifted Beast up onto that horse in the forest every single time. And I have loved (almost) every Disney movie since.

    And guess what? I turned out just fine! I love my body for what it is. I love people of all shapes, sizes, colors, backgrounds, etc.

    Disney is magical, and while there may be things here and there scattered throughout the movies and books, that I don't like or agree with, kids don't see that. They just see the enchantment.

    I guess the only thing that Disney ever did to me was give me a false idea about hair. (How do you make it do that?!) ;)

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    1. Such a thoughtful comment, Eden -- and of course, I wholeheartedly agree with you.

      And man, Ariel's hair! How do I get it!? ;)

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  6. My daughter is 7 and every day, I am SO thankful that she still loves the Disney Princesses. {Aurora is and has always been her favorite!} Looking at the big picture, and seeing all of the other outside influences out there {Monster High??? Vampire dolls?? I just don't get it!}, I am forever grateful for a simple Princess. She has plenty of time to grow up. For now, I am thankful that she just wants to be a kid.

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    1. So funny that you mention other dolls and brands, Amanda, because I almost brought them into this (I could've written a much, much longer post). Monster High? Sorry, no thank you.

      Does your daughter like American Girl? I was sooo into it, growing up! And there are some really great role models in those characters, too.

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  7. i feel so identificated with you; initially we tried to protect her from the 'evil' but someone gave her a minnie shirt, then another one, and then she "discovered" mickey's clubhouse and so on!!! if i also liked to see cartoons, why not her?

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  8. Love this!! :) I say, "Let them be Little!" If that includes Disney, I'm perfectly okay with that! :)

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  9. I'm sure there are all kinds of BAD things about Disney....just like there are bad things about everything. But to me, the most magical place ever is Disney World...and I didn't even experience it until I was 23! I can't wait to take my kids someday. And if I ever have a little girl, I will be like you and totally let her be a little princess :))

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    1. I still haven't been to Disney World (or Land), but I admit that I can't wait to experience it with Maile, someday!

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