A Moment, Gone Forever

I take my camera most everywhere, these days. Important outings, 'unimportant' ones. I admit that I'm terrified to miss a moment, gone forever, not captured.

I know, I know ...

Something that having children makes you realize, though, is that every single moment is important. If you think about that for more than a second, it suddenly becomes incredibly high-pressure. Terrifying, really. Those uninvited words creep into your mind: If you didn't take a picture, it didn't really happen.

Wrong.

If you were there, it happened. It happened for your children, and it happened for the family and friends who shared that time with you. 

I like taking photographs. I like having something semi-tangible to help me remember. I want to be in the picture with Maile. But I also want to be in the moment -- to live outside of likes and comments and hits on our family's time together.

It's strange to me how critical some people are of bloggers, accusing us of only share the beautiful and the good ... accusing us of being inauthentic, really. I think the great majority of us try to strike a balance between a pretty space and 'keeping it real'. For me, though, those things I choose not to share here, I don't share because those things are just for me. For our family. Sacred, if you will. Our messiest messes, and even some of our greatest joys -- those things are in my heart and my mind, and yes, in photographs. Moments, gone forever, meant only for us.

Happy New Year!

From our family to yours. We wish you every happiness in 2014.

Photo by Lisa Turner Photography.

It's a ...

boy!!!

We loved reading all of your guesses! Both here, and especially on Instagram.

So excited to meet this little dude in May!

* Thank you to my wonderful friend Sarah for the ombre cupcakes, and to my equally wonderful friend Kyna for Maile's beautiful dress.

A Teaser

Today we had an ultrasound, and found out the gender of this little baby bean in my belly! We've been in the best moods all day! Before we announce it here, though, we thought it'd be fun to see what you think ... Boy? Or girl?

A Movie with Dada

Long before we found out that I was pregnant with Maile, I dreamed of family movies. I couldn't wait for the day we'd pile in the car to go to the local theater, and I'd hand a tiny hand a ticket. We'd agonize over decisions like Junior Mints or Sour Patch Kids, order our popcorn with extra butter, and feel sneaky bringing a salt shaker into the theater with us. This summer, we took Maile to her very first movie theater movie (Monsters University), but she maybe wasn't quiiiiiiite old enough yet, and I've been looking forward to taking her to a movie she'll actually want to sit through. (Tim also took her to see Planes, which put her to sleep.)

So rewind to yesterday, when we showed Maile a trailer of Frozen, and she asked, "Dada take me to a movie?" and we got really excited.

She even ended up invited me too, which was good because I really wanted to watch Frozen. But the best part about this movie theater experience wasn't the movie, it was watching Maile -- she. was. entranced. And it was perfect.

20 Things I'm Realizing as a Parent

Photo by Lisa Turner Photography. Please do not use without written permission from myself and Lisa. Thank you.

I spent a lot of time yesterday thinking about parenting. The way I was parented then, the way I'm parented now (you can't tell me your parents don't still parent you in some way!). The type of kid I was then, the type of 'kid' I am now. The way I'm parenting, the way I want to parent.

Especially as I'm a parent to a very young child, I want to make it clear that I'm learning. Always learning. By the moment, by the hour, by the day. So feel free to scoff and completely write off this list, because my kid is only two. I certainly don't know everything; I'm certain I never will. 

But here -- here are some things I'm realizing. Take them, leave them. Hate them, love them.

1. I said it above, but I'm going to say it again. We will never know everything. What we should strive to understand is what works for our children and for our family. No one is experiencing what you're experiencing. Keep this in mind, especially when you feel the urge to be critical, or find that someone is critical of you.
2. No one's ideas are stupid. Unless those ideas involve no boundaries whatsoever, or isolation or violence.
3. Be in the moment. I cannot even begin to tell you how I struggle with this. My Type A personality has me thinking over everything 'undone.' My to-do list that grows even longer on days when I'm especially in the moment as a mother and wife. When you have a husband who is only home for weeks at a time, you don't want to spend those precious moments cleaning ... no matter how distracting your dirty house is to your Type A self. Being in the moment also applies to defiance, tantrums, delayed bedtimes -- where I struggle even worse. No matter how much you may want to scream in that moment, it is only a moment. If you need to scream, do it. Just not in the face of your child. The look of fear on your little one's face is not worth it.
4. Tell your children you love them, often, and with conviction. I once read a comment thread in which someone was trying to convince the other parents that we can be too free with our "I love you"s, that telling your children you love them "too much" will spoil them. Well, if I am going to 'spoil' Maile, I'd much rather have it be with love than anything else.
5. No one else cares about your parenting that much. I realize that this point is a bit ironic in a post about parenting, but what I mean is simply this: Everyone is doing their best. And because we're all so darn insecure, not wanting to end up on 60 Minutes in 25 years (Is that show still on?), we put on airs of bravado. Our way is best, thank-you-very-much. Those little digs and jabs can hurt, yes, but as not everything changes between the ages of 17 and 27, they're usually just a sign of wavering confidence. A feeble attempt to boost their own self-worth as a parent by undercutting yours.
6. You should never be too busy for your children.
7. Children are simple: they need love, boundaries, and consequences. And yeah, I know the application of these things is anything but simple. Figuring out the appropriate 'balance' (I hate that word) isn't simple. But it is simple to remind yourself of this in the heat of a frustrating moment, to give yourself time to take a deep breath, think, and then act. 
8. This too shall pass.
9. You cannot change yourself in a day.
10. The way you parent affects other people. And not just in a potentially horrifying 60 Minutes way.
11. 'Mom guilt' (or 'dad guilt') does you no good. If you don't like the way you reacted to a situation, change it, whether that means changing your actions the next time around, or asking for forgiveness.
12. No one is getting out of this without scars. Maybe that sounds dramatic. Or, if you're not yet a parent, downright scary. Being a parent is one of the most wonderful gifts in the human experience; it can also hurt.
13. Be honest with yourself.
14. Your child doesn't fit into a neat little box crafted by pediatric guidelines, school systems, or society; don't force them into it. As long as they aren't disturbing other shoppers, let them sing in Target. Maybe they'll grow up to be a Broadway star. Maybe they'll grow up, won't be able to carry a tune, but will have a contagious joy of music. Either way, I'm sure they'll remember that you let them sing in Target.
15. You are not guaranteed tomorrow. No pressure. 
16. You are enough. You have enough. I'm not crafty. Right now, we can't afford lessons and classes and paid activities. I love to read; I can read to Maile for hours. I'm musical; I can teach Maile how to play Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star on her xylophone, and help her strum some basic chords on my guitar. I love to cook; she can count and measure with me as we make meals and memories together. You don't have to have it 'all' for your little one to have a rich childhood.
17. You choose the way you parent.
18. You're not too old or too mature to dance in the living room, or giggle under the covers, or make a fort, or skip down the sidewalk, or eat dessert first.
19. If you're going to spend money, spend more on experiences and memories than you do on things.
20. At the end of the day, your child wants you ... just. you.

Speaking of not spending money on things, our current giveaway is for a pair of gorgeous custom Baby Lupo moccasins. Enter here.

And here's the post that got me thinking.

Around This House

The cutest little ice cream face ever. With the sun shining through her hair, and those near-black, almond shaped eyes.

Someone likes pretending to sleep, right around what used to be her nap time. Part precious, part why-don't-you-still-take-naps-Miss-Maile?

I've been desperately trying to add an afternoon movie to our routine over the past week, as first trimester exhaustion has hit me full force.

A delectable meal of Crock Pot Savory Asian Meatballs. Tiny amount of work, big flavor ...

When Tim is home, we spend a lot of our time cooking dishes like this one.

Maile giving her dada a checkup. (He needed a shot!)

Maile's hair bow c/o Bizzy B Crafts.

36/52 | 37/52 | 38/52

"A portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2013."

Maile: A sweet silhouette in an Iowa cornfield at dusk.

Maile: Early signs of autumn. Footie pajamas, a plush blanket, a movie and snuggles on the couch with Dada, while Mama makes biscuits 'n gravy on a Saturday morning.

Maile: Excited and surprised that she'll have a baby brother or sister come spring! She may not fully grasp what our news means yet, but we're going to do everything we can to make the transition to a family of four a simple one, full of love. (Also, my 'excuse' for getting so far behind on these posts!)

Part of Che and Fidel's 52 project.

Last week, I particularly enjoyed the portraits posted by Claudia, and Sisilia. Please, pay their beautiful pictures a visit.

iFavorite

My favorite iPhone pic from the past week:

I am of the opinion that dads can fall asleep anytime, anywhere. ;)

Follow along on Instagram: mrskittymitch

And speaking of Instagram, I've teamed up with sponsor Diana Meredith Designs for a fabulous IG giveaway; be sure to check it out! 

iFavorite

My favorite iPhone pic from the past week:

This photo is from one of two nights this week that Maile slept in her own bed. I've had a lot of people ask how we approach sleep 'training,' especially given Tim's strange schedule, and the fact that our circumstances at home are constantly changing. Sleep is a whole other animal when "Dada" is home for a couple of weeks, then gone for a couple of weeks. There's an element of our lives that never settles, and it's sometimes not so fun trying to explain to your toddler, when you just want her to go to sleep, that Dada will read her the "Dada monster book" in x more days. My honest answer is that bedtime around here can be difficult. Not always, but it can be. And also, that though we have a set bedtime routine, there is no 'training.' We are a bed-sharing / co-sleeping family, and because once Maile is asleep, she does sleep so well, we firmly believe that she'll let us know when she's ready to move into her own space. So now you know our secret -- the family bed. Plus, we love to snuggle, and I don't know about you, but sleep and snuggles can cure just about anything around here. :)

Follow along on Instagram: mrskittymitch

*Don't forget to enter our current giveaway!

On Raising a Disney Princess

When I was pregnant with Maile, I carefully curated a long list of 'won't's. We won't let her watch TV until she's at least four years old. I won't ever yell at her. We won't even introduce her to Disney ...

I don't know why I fixated on Disney as a negative entity. I did, though. Maybe it was all the uber-natural, and attachment parenting websites I was drawn to. Maybe it was the fact that all the super-cool, trendy moms I followed in the blogging world probably balk at their child being seen in a character tee. ::gasp:: Maybe it was all of my grad school classmates who bragged about not having a television. Whatever it was, I decided Disney was bad for my daughter.

Then, Maile arrived. We hadn't a clue what to do with her six pounds of gorgeousness, but we managed ... We managed to keep the TV and computer screens off when she was awake. We managed to not buy any Disney books, or plush toys, or clothing. We managed to play classical music for her, and read to her every single day. Our babysitter taught Maile sign language, and we managed to be pretty dang proud.

I'm racking my brain, trying to remember when Maile was first exposed to Disney, but I can't recall the moment, or item, or whatever it was ... I clearly remember that we tried desperately to get Maile attached to a lovey, without success. I wore carefully selected stuffed animals around in my shirt for days, because I read that my 'scent' would make her love them more; she didn't take to any of them for more than a week. Then, one day, shortly before her first birthday, Tim grabbed a Mickey from a shelf at Target, and handed it to Maile. Click. Love. What is it about that mouse, who looks very little like a mouse? 

When I realized that Mickey wasn't going anywhere, I carefully wrote Maile's name on his tag (in red Sharpie, to match his iconic red shorts), and nostalgically, scenes from the Toy Story movies flashed through my brain. I love those movies -- their imagination ... but most of all, their hope.

More than a few strangers told us that Maile looked like Boo, from Monsters, Inc., and Sulley found his way into her collection. Dear friends bought her a Disney princess anthology for her first birthday; we read from it to our darling girl. She watched an episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse; a plush Donald Duck joined the family. One night, one of our dogs decided Mickey's nose looked appetizing, and Tim's mom performed minor surgery to fix Mickey's "ouch!" Shortly before Maile's second birthday, Tim DVR'd the Sofia the First movie; he was so excited about our first movie night with Maile. And yes, Sofia was pretty cool, but Maile really loved the scene with Cinderella. 

All of these things brought to mind my own Disney memories. My first movie theater experience was Beauty and the Beast on the big screen; I remember my parents picking me up from kindergarten one day, with the VHS in hand. When Snow White was re-released in theaters, my mom let me and my younger sister play hooky, and drove us to the 'big city' for the show. I still dream of seeing The Lion King on Broadway, someday. And yes, when I'm sick, Beauty and the Beast is one of my go-to comfort movies (along with 'big girl' fairy tales, like Sabrina, and Ever After). 

I've come across so many blog posts, opinion pieces, even articles, about how Disney is doing girls wrong. Do I agree with all of Disney's decisions? Certainly not. Do I push princesses and pink and all things girly on Maile? If you believe that, you don't know me at all. But even the ditziest of Disney princesses (I can't decide if that award goes to Ariel, or Snow White) has something to teach my daughter. Following her dreams, for example. Being gracious and kind, even to those who wish you ill. Learning to step out into the world, even when you're afraid. That it's okay to be bookish. And someday, I hope she'll see that maybe it's the prince who needs rescuing. ;)

Maile clack, clack, clacks around the house in her Ariel dress-up shoes, wearing the mermaid costume my parents gave her. She sings as she lovingly gives her toys check-ups, which almost always end in declarations that they need stitches. She wears her Minnie nightgown outside, in the mornings, insisting on sharing her toast with "Maile's birdies." (Yes, seriously.) She twirls around me as she does my hair, "just like Rapunzel, Mama! You're beautiful!" 

She loves planes -- especially fighter jets. She stages elaborate train crashes, with major sound effects. She wants to ride a dragon someday, and asks why we can't see dinosaurs at the zoo. If you ask her, she'll tell you her favorite color is blue. She's a downright rabid baseball fan.

All the little boys I know are obsessed with construction equipment; I've never heard, "Aren't you afraid so-and-so will grow up to be ... blue collar?!" Bring a Disney princess into the mix, and suddenly you're part of the 'system,' so obviously rigged against girls. "Girls can be anything!" Except princesses, it would seem.

Okay, so Jasmine's proportions are wildly unrealistic. A prince probably won't sweep Maile off her feet and marry her (though it did happen to Grace Kelly, and Queen Noor ... just saying). Maile can't talk to animals, and songbirds wearing hats aren't going to help her with her chores.

Until the cynicism of adulthood too-quickly descends on our sweet girl, though, we will let her be little. Let her imagination take her to wonderful, far-off places. Let her sing and dance, and wear mermaid fins to dinner. Let her be a princess.

And, occasionally, buy her character t-shirts.

Maile's headband c/o Bizzy B Crafts.

Speaking of pink, our current giveaway -- sponsored by All That Glitters -- ends Friday. Enter here!

Pella: Part I

Our trip was great. We weren't quite sure what we were in for, driving 11 hours with Maile. We thought it might be hard, but surprisingly -- most of it wasn't, at all! Her sleep schedule even stayed mostly on track. And when one of our very first visits was to the famous Jaarsma Bakery, we knew it was going to be one awesome visit. Pella is known for its traditional Dutch architecture, and I have to say, it definitely has lovely European flair!

It was wonderful connecting with my parents, sister, and nephew (none of whom we get to see often enough), eating familiar meals, and just spending time in a small town, where everything moves a little slower (Denver may not be a frantic big city, but it's still a city).

Michael and Maile's cardigans c/o The Wishing Elephant. We let Michael borrow Maile's Monogrammed Cardigan for the day; he's such a cutie!

Don't forget to enter our pink essentials giveaway, sponsored by All That Glitters! Ends Friday.

Western Wanderlust // Colorado's Great Sand Dunes

Our camping weekend, we enjoyed trying not to wake Maile (also, an orange koala), while lunging up sand dunes,

pretending we were in Saudi Arabia (yes, that is an untouched Colorado blue sky),

a photo op with friends (my high socks are to try to keep the sand out -- ha -- and Tim would like me to note that he is not, in fact, a redneck),

lots of pictures in sand (I'm still trying to get it out of everything!),

and many magical moments with the most adorable little ones.

We should have slept hard, but

we were on the edge of monsoon rains,

so we stayed awake listening to the hard, steady rain.

And wind.

Lots of wind, whipping around our tent.

Have you been camping this summer?

America's National Parks are so beautiful.

Full of inspiration, and life, and peace.

Hope your weekend was wonderful!

Happy Monday, friends.

That White Hot Day in June

We love water.

And sunshine.

Tacos ( ... evidence around Maile's mouth).

Lemonade.

Splash, splash, splash!!!

And watching Maile discover she can do the things she wants to do.

This life is so precious.

Hope you had a happy weekend!

Maile's First Hit

This Father's Day, I tried to get a little creative. I don't even remember what I did for Tim last year, but it probably wasn't particularly awesome. ;) We make a point to do special things as a family often, so we don't put a whole lot of emphasis on gift-giving. But seriously -- who doesn't like presents?

Tim is a huge baseball fan (he was actually recruited to play college ball, but chose to enlist in the Army instead), and we already had tickets to go see our Giants play against the local Rockies. So, to put even more of a Father's Day emphasis on the outing, Maile and I surprised Tim with a pink and purple tee, and two plastic softballs, so he could teach his little girl how to hit a ball.

It was an afternoon we won't ever forget. 

Babe, your girls love you so.